A delayed Adios to 2022
I was going to skim over the ending of 2022 but I keep being pulled into celebrating all that this year brought, all that I grew through, and all that I chucked out. It was the best year, but also tried me and triggered me in ways and through relationships I never could’ve grown through in my previous version of integrity.
So here’s my celebrations for the year:
2022 I finally quit trying to make every situation or relationship end in an amicable way that was abandoning myself, but made me look better to others, or the public eye.
Oof, that was a hard one to surrender to, but that’s full integrity to YOU, and you’re the only one going to the grave with you.
I trusted on a level I never have, I trusted saying NO over and over even when I wasn’t being shown evidence to trust. I trusted what was best for me and for others would figure itself out. I trusted that even through hurt or dips, I was always going to be taken care of plus more… and I was and am… even in big in-between gaps & question marks.
I learned why people become closed off and don’t share their ideas and passions openly with the world… not everyone will see or value integrity and honesty the same as you nor will you live up to others standards. Keep your truest heart passions closest to your heart, it’s more special anyway and let what really is actually for you percolate and become extra special.
BUT keep your heart open to the special ones,… they hit different … and mostly have 4 legs.
I am NOT soft, and through some really hard events and conversations I gave up trying to be soft. I gave up trying to marry the masculine and feminine, the yin and the yang, & embody how all this jank online has decided that I “should” be. I found someone that could just teach me my blueprint and give me full permission to not be soft, to not coddle, to not be a soft feminine healer, because it would never sustain me or my business. Rather, I started to just be in my potency. Which led to my biggest crumbling of 2022….
I am not a healer. While healing can happen as a by-product of the work I do I will no longer focus on trying to step deeper into my feminine, to embody the energy of kaftans, holding space for deep emotions and transformation but rather flip the switch and turn the volume up for those ready to PLAY & OWN the party that is your life.
I broke up with my relationship to money & material defining success or the only energy exchange that could satisfy me. I stopped thinking if I had high ticket services I’d have more energy to give to people because I would be making more and that was what defined an equal energy exchange. NO. If it doesn't light you up for a low ticket price, it sure as hell won't last long term as a high ticket if it requires any energy or excitement from you.
WHY the f are you creating these masterpieces that represent your life?
I stopped thinking if people bought my ‘low ticket services’ or one off appointments my energy had to be lower or they weren't 'committed' enough to heal or deserve.
I chose to just show up with the energy that I am and offer the experience that I’m made to… and let a lot die off.
I had a huge turnover and release in clientele and friends… and each time I turned a corner or felt it deeper I intentionally celebrated deeper, feeling the lightening, knowing it was all uncovering more and more truth of me and who I am.
I’m not going anywhere, I’m not hiding away…
I am intentionally resting… after divorcing so many paradigms and beliefs… and people.
All of the cliche lingo and selling … I’ve landed in a deeper embodiment that’s shed light on so much bull shit…
And I’m just celebrating what is about to arrive because it's unwaveringly me and my soul coming through.
What has been:
4 California adventures with my favourite doggo & some amazing family
Half the summer off adventuring with my doggo
Finally writing my American Acu exams that I’d been putting off out of fear for 5 years.
Getting over fear of failing
Befriending fear of loss
Rebuilding from the ground up with no bull shit the relationships with my family that had to crumble after a really tough few years of force.
Scaling Solluna, reaching more clients & being able to give back behind the scenes in much bigger ways while watching practitioners grow and step into their own worth & personal brand... which by the way is also triggering to the ego, but is potent growth if you're here for it.
I stopped trying to make sense of business, and let my deepest gut show me how it’s meant to be for me. I finally realized no business coach or mentor could do it better for me, I'm not here to live in the mind. Create systems and strategies that make sense and then get the hell out of your own way and be the CREATOR.
Letting go of how it’s supposed to be and when it’s supposed to be… watching it unfold as a true manifesting generator adventure that it’s supposed to be.
My biggest WIN was stepping into LIVING what I believed to be unrealistic capacities that I can hold with ease, as I’ve released all of the above. Not understanding how I’ve been able to support myself while maximizing freedom and time off… but realizing the less I struggle through the hustle the more satisfaction and abundance that pours into my life... EFFORTLESSLY!
Which makes me excited to see what’s possible for all of us to hold & sustain this year as we continually go where we have not been, and leave the mind out of what’s possible. I'll be moving over to a new website for the unraveling of the next evolution of Krystal... this will remain a place for the TCM & Acupuncture Krystal to share and keep people informed, but as you'll see the next chapter will not be done justice here. I hope you take the time to reflect on WHO the heck you are and what you're truly here for. If money disappeared tomorrow and only satisfaction could buy you lifes necessities... what is it you would go lead & do?